Hall of Fame

Own the latest lovely fragrance to hit the beauty scene. Eau My by George Takei of Star Trek fame will be sure to set your phasers to stunning!

$55 for 4oz. bottle.

Alright, first you need to hit the store and pick up a box of dildos, 6 packs of vibrators, and at least two rolls of duct tape. Listen closely because it get complicated right here. Put a dildo on a flat surface and gently hit it with a hammer until you see some kind of splitting or tearing on the surface of the dildy. Now take the dildy and throw it over your left shoulder and do the same for half the box. Now take the remaining half, write "dildys" on the box, and light them on fire; you don't need them. You shouldn't breath in the smoke, though, so put the box on your sidewalk to let it burn.

If your girl still isn't cumming then take the vibrators and gently press them into hot dog buns. Make sure the hot dog buns are a little warm first, or they might be too brittle. You may want to test this on actual hot dogs before proceeding.

If she hasn't cum yet then you're on your own. Your girl's a freak

I have about 20 lbs of pig faces I'm looking to get rid of. I've already eaten the really good stuff, so I'm willing to give this stuff away for free to whoever wants it.

Makes fantastic boiled sandwiches with musterfd.

Authentic signed baseball by legendary baseball player George Herman "Babe" Ruth, Jr.

Own a piece of baseball history with this baseball signed by the Bambino himself in 1892 in San Francisco, California.

Babe was traveling to Australia at the time and gave this as a gift to the Mayor of San Francisco, Colonel Andrew Jackson (who would later become President of the United States).

This is literally priceless, but I am willing to let it go for $55,000 CASH ONLY - no debit cards or cashiers checks accepted. 

Fiendly is caring. Fiendly takes care of you. When I was put in the cage in the cellar for being bad Fiendly was the only one who was there for me.

"It will be okay," Fiendly would say, "soon we will be free and eat their flesh."

I love Fiendly, but must go on my journey of death. Looking for a good family to give her to.

If you're anything like me then you will love to have these white chocolate baby heads for when you need some sweets.

Gaze deeply into the voids where their eyes should be as you peel off the outer layer of chocolate skin from their tender baby heads.

Great for parties or as a "sorry you had an abortion" gift!

We were going to give Frank away for free, but knowing his massive powers of seduction we thought we'd be able to make some quick money off of him. We sadly have to let this Casanova of doggies go... the emotions he elicits in our hearts can bring the strongest man to his knees and the weakest man to acts of bravery he could never imagine. Blood boils and lust is unleashed when this majestic hound levels his sexy gaze upon you... we must warn you that meeting this little guy is not for the weak of heart. Be warned! Be warned! $75 cash firm.

Selling my iPhone. Call or text for more details.

Ok fools, you know you want to get your flabby butts in gear, but you've never been able to. I used to be just like you until I got my certified fitness trainer certification. Don't be a dirty bimbo, take a look at my abs now! For $100 a month I will personally show you everything you need to know about fitness and get you the body you can be proud of.

WANTED: One Rabbi versed in the Dark Talmudic Arts to create one Golem for household of three. Golem will perform rudimentary household chores such as dishes & sweeping, basic Math Tutoring for our daughter in 3rd grade and basic household security. Golem must be obedient and fairly unobtrusive on our every-day lives. We will supply all materials needed (clay, twigs, calfskin parchment, etc) needed to create the Golem. All you need to do is use your magical ancient Rabbinic skills to animate said Golem! Please note! We are looking for a Rabbi to create a Golem: an anthropomorphic being created from inanimate matter from Jewish folk-lore, NOT Gollum: a former Hobbit turned into monster and looking for "precious". This is important! We have no interest in living with Gollum. We want a Golem. Please respond, serious inquiry only.

I am a graphic artist and in need of a job. I have decided to fill this need the same way many people think the can fill their graphic design needs; with a contest! Here is how it will work; Send me one weeks worth of salary and benefits. I will keep all of the checks that are sent to me and use all of the benefits. Whoever sends me the best salary and benefits package will win the contest and get the prize of two days of graphic design work!!! Good Luck! I am really looking forward to recieving your payment packages!

Job title Bishop of Rome / Successor of Saint Peter / Holy See / Pontifex / "The Pope" Background After the recent resignation of Pope Benedict XVI after almost 7 years of service, the Catholic Church is again looking for a Pope to control the Holy Masses. Please note that this position is highly competitive, with applications expected from superstars including Beyonce, and so not all applicants will receive acknowledgement of their application. Duties Expected duties and activities of the candidate (if selected) include: Waving hands to large crowds of people Conducting Mass (a form of religious ceremony - experience highly regarded) Waving incense at functions and events Sitting in (comfortable) chairs for long periods of time Rule on key religious decisions for the Catholic Church Engage with key media organisations, authors (e.g. Dan Brown) and other stakeholders to discuss the role of the Vatican and Catholic Church Tweet from the official account @pontifex Skills, experience & competencies The candidate should be able to display the following key skills: Ability to disregard any scientific or other breakthroughs that would throw doubt into the religion Selective memory of events that 'may have occurred' involving staff members of the Vatican and Catholic Church Strong skills in denial in a range of topic areas including condom effectiveness A highly homophobic attitude Excellent skills in making up content on the spot that seems 'deep and meaningful' Knowledge of the Catholic Church, its teachings and history is desirable but not required Abstinence from all sexual activity Please note computer skills (other than Twitter) will not be required. The successful candidate will be required to relocate to Vatican City, a lovely location centrally located within Rome and a very popular tourist destination. A relocation allowance will be supplied to the candidate. Relationships and accountability The Pope is accountable only to the Holy Father, who the candidate will report directly to. Please note that the Holy Father is unable to assist in the selection process. The candidate will need to be accessible 24/7 and be dedicated to the job, which is not confined to (mortal/standard) working hours. Salary & Compensation The successful candidate will receive a competitive compensation package, including 7 star residence, access to the Papal helicopter, staff members / assistants as required. Application process To apply, please see the detailed Wikipedia article on the Papal conclave. Location: Vatican City Compensation: As negotiated with successful applicant. Highly competitive. This is at a non-profit organization. OK to highlight this job opening for persons with disabilities Principals only. Recruiters, please don't contact this job poster. Please, no phone calls about this job! Please do not contact job poster about other services, products or commercial interests.

Okay people, listen up: - A shopping cart is not your significant other - Your shopping cart is not a friend - Your shopping cart is not a human being Why are these important things to know? Because some of you have decided that you shouldn't "push" a shopping cart, you should walk beside it like it's your sidekick. STOP. Or, if you're from Jersey, STAHP. It's annoying, especially when I'm just trying to get my 10 pound bag of chicken at Costco and you're walking next to your friggin' cart like you two are old highschool friends catching up while looking for a 6-pack of mayo jars. Want to know how to use a cart? Even the robotic Mitt Romney knows how to use one. Study this picture. Print it out. Keep it in your purse or wallet to reference when you're at the store. Also don't be mad if I front kick you cart to make you get out of my way - your cart does not necessitate me moving.